FROM THE ARCHIVE

Recirculation of researchers with Chronic Fellow Syndrome is highly dependent on self-recognition at homing compartments

J.C., Jr
MPI, Munich, Germany

The pathology of Chronic Fellow Syndrome (CFS) leads to young scientists working at foreign countries to a non-saturable, stationary state, in the progress of their professional achievements, which has been correlated with their incapability to maintain the proper growing-rate of their curriculum vitae after the first, naive years, of their research career. Epidemiological and histopathological post-mortem studies have shown that CFS etiological agent is brain specific, since foci of infection are exclusively found in the minds of the affected individuals. Triggering of CFS is dependent on both environmental and godfather-inherited factors, and its development has been suggested to be associated with the acquisition of related disorders, such as Friend-Sick Syndrome. In addition, previous reports have pointed out the importance of committed overseas recirculation suffered by patients with CFS in the aggravation of the disease (see CurrRevol 08/06/09), which may ultimately direct them into an irreversible erratic stage of gypsy-like professional behaviour, loss of friendship-related feelings, early-morning acute laziness and, eventually, the big sleep. In an attempt to understand at the topological level the routes of progression of the syndrome, we have analyzed the fine specificity in the trafficking of a CFS patient committed to recirculate at home country institutions. To this end, the possibility has been tested of bypassing the previously acquired commitment through an alternative allocation pathway which involved a fellowship application at a neighbour country that, otherwise, showed no cultural direct bonds with the patient´s native land. To avoid results which could be due to a lack of professional merits in the applicant, the patient was primed with a boosting dose of high quality publications just before the application process was carried out. As a recipient of such application, a very reliable European research organisation was chosen. As expected, on the basis of a standard foreign agent rejection response, this organisation could not award the fellowship to the patient. Interestingly, in situ analysis of the future prospects of the patient`s non-self new allocation, revealed a remarkable short-term involution of such compartment, which will likely be followed by homeostatic reabsorption or the essential self-materials, wall decay, and vanishing. Thus, although alternative pathways of allocation can momentarily divert fellows with CFS through non-self locations, our results indicate that self-recognition at homing compartments is necessary for the aberrant recirculation of researchers with CFS.

Creation of antilife within a microcosmos of antimatter

Giarc Retnev and Trabla Nistsnie
Dravrah School for Antigods, Massomenosschuches, NOUSES.

While matter is physically composed of particles, antimatter refers to the extension of the concept of the antiparticles to matter. For example, an antielectron or positron (an electron with positive charge) can combine with an antiproton (a proton with a negative charge) to form an antihydrogen atom. By performing basic antichemical reactions, we successfully combined two antihydrogen antiatoms with antioxigen to produce antiwater. This was an opaque liquid that tasted dry. As expected, combination of 10 L of antiwater with the same amount of water led to the annihilation of both and subsequent death by asphixia of the goldfishes that inhabited the latter. We took advantage of the empty aquarium resulting from this experiment to support a microcosmos of antimatter with the aim of creating antilife. We added 10 L of antiwater to a layer of antiminerals (basically an assorment of minced antisilicates and anticalcium anticarbonate). Then, by combining antiatoms of anticarbon from antimethane to antinitrogen antiatoms from antiammonium, we created diverse basic organic antimolecules, including antisugars (that we call bitters), antilipids (that we call slims), as well as basic antiamino-acids, and antinitrogen bases, such as antiadenine, antiguanine, antithymine, antiuracyl and anticytosine. Interestingly, building up antimolecules required energy, which we applied by electric pulses by dipping a plugged shaving machine into antiwater containing the soup of pre-organic antimolecules. This discards that antienergy may exist or, at least, is required for antimatter antiatoms to assemble. We verified the assembly of antiDNA molecules in the antiwater microcosmos by throwing into it DNA minipreps and verifying their annihilation. Creation of antiRNA molecules required two orders of magnitude less energy than that of antiDNA, suggesting that the disappearance of RNA that normally occurs in Molecular Biology laboratories could be attributed to its annihilation by spontaneously generated antiRNA rather than to the usually blamed ubiquitous RNases. Addition of a plugged electric toothbrush to the microcosmos allowed the formation of antiproteins with antienzymatic activity. Slims combined to form double layers with their antipolar heads buried and their antihydrophobic tails exposed. Thus, primordial anticells were produced that could divide by replicating their antiDNAs with a 3’ => 5’ directionality. The antibiology of these cells was studied by mounting all the lenses of a microscope upside down and illuminating the samples with antiphotons, that were easy to produce because photons are their own antiparticles. Finally, additional energy was provided by soaking in the antiwater a plugged old ABIPrism automatic sequencer. Annotations in the notebook of the graduate student who made this experiment describe that the surface of the antilife microcosmos looked then like a very appealing mirror, which neatly reflected features from the normal material world. That is the last time anybody ever heard of him.

Experimental evidence that drinking water does not mitigate paralysis caused by English TEA

D. Simón and V. Blanco
Cooperativa Vinícola Los Peñascales, Toledo, Spain

Thesis examiner anxiety (TEA) is a recurrent syndrome affecting to professors and academic researchers that form part of doctoral thesis tribunals too often. In its mild form, TEA manifests in the examiner as an emotional distress caused by a self-demand to elaborate smart and interesting questions on the obscure and unknown subjects of the next day-thesis. English TEA is a strong form of TEA that occurs under circumstances in which foreign languages have to be used by the examiner. English TEA usually leads to acute throat stinging and cough attacks, cold sweat, short-term paralysis, and, eventually, to uncoupled perception of reality, deep feelings of self-pity, and complete loss of judgement. In the official ceremonies for thesis defences, it is customary to provide thesis examiners with a small bottle of mineral water, to be drunk during the questioning of the examinee about the grand discoveries and the small faults of the thesis work. It is well documented that, in such difficult moments, the thesis examiner, surrounded by expert colleagues and by emotive relatives of the young aspirant to doctor, feels absolutely alone, and it is assumed by all that drinking water alleviates stress and helps to circumvent the eventual burst of a TEA episode. However, no experimental proof of such an hypothesis has been provided so far. Here, we have tested the role of drinking water as a preventive therapy for English TEA, using a behavioural rat model of permanent paralysis that mimics this disease. After two weeks of training in a Y-shaped labyrinth to find a source of dry food, rats were challenged to find the food in a I-shaped labyrinth, from which food had been removed. Under these conditions, rats stress, get annoyed, and fall into a permanent paralysis, in which cerebellum neuronal circuits are fully collapsed. We have compared the response to I-labyrinth food retrieval of rats that were challenged with the test in the absence or in the presence of drinking water at the beginning of the experiment. Different brands of mineral water were used, as well as regular tap water from different geographic locations. No statistical differences were found in the number of rats that suffered permanent paralysis irrespective of the water supply, the water brand, or the water source. Furthermore, high doses of drinking water, pumped into the mouth of the rat at different times during the test, did not diminish the frequency nor the intensity of the induced paralysis. We conclude that drinking water does not attenuate English TEA paralysis. Our results indicate that alternative beverages, such as cold beer, or a good glass of wine accompanied with olives, could be more advantageous for doctoral thesis examiners in the prevention of episodes of English TEA at thesis defence official ceremonies.